I’m Sorry, Tiffany/Ugg/Victoria’s Secret, It Just Won’t Work Between Us

How often have I seen something inexplicably amazing in an on-line shop that costs a half of what it does in a Moscow retail outlet, selected it and clicked: “Order”, only to find that, while they deliver these fantastic woolly shoes/bracelet/polar bear claw/etc. even to Honduras (whatever for), Russia is, once again, NOT on the list.

            This is so annoying that I can’t even rant about it properly. But that doesn’t mean I won’t make the effort. I’m not going to go into detail on the workings of the Russian post and all the ridiculous rules and regulations that make it that much more difficult for foreign shop-owners to cooperate with us.

            But I am going to say that

this is outrageous. It’s like the iron curtain never fell. We have to wait up to 6 months for a simple postcard, and God forbid anyone tries to order anything on Ebay – expect your delivery in a year or two. I may be exaggerating a little, but if you ever tried to deal with our post, you get what I mean.

            And there’s the service in the post-offices to talk about. In one of the previous posts in this blog I wrote about the Scary Lady Syndrome. Remember: the women who work in the offices of Pochta Rossii (the federate mail service) are, each of them, the queen bees of all the scary ladies.

They are mean, bitter and always SO ANGRY at you, their job, the whole world and everything that’s in it. Don’t look them in the eye, speak clearly, or, rather, don’t speak at all, just fill out your paperwork correctly (no-one cares that there’s not a single example of how to do that on the web or in the office – that’s your problem) and give it to them without making any sudden movements. Then, and only then, may you come out of there with your head still resting on your shoulders. And, if you’ve been blessed by Zeus and Odin, with your letter/package in your hands.

Using other delivery services helps, if only a little – they have decent employees who smile at you and speak in soft, polite voices. But THEY have to deal with the federal post instead of you, and that explains why they charge you that s-load of money for their services. And, again, due to their working through the federal post system, things still don’t get delivered any faster.

 

I have no solution for the problem, and this isn’t a motivational post, just a straight-up rant, it’s just here to let out the AAAAARGH I feel when desperately wanting to buy something that costs 2 times less in Europe, US, Asia – basically, all over the world - but not being able to do that because of the idiotic import policy of my country. If you’re with me, share and rant on, may be, someday, it’ll somehow force this situation to change.

Exam Season, So...

Sorry. I'm up to my ears with university papers, and thinking about anything but Stylistics and Translation Theory seems impossible. So, I'll make you a deal: my next post will be 10 times more awesome than anything I could have whipped up today.

For now, here's another video of me singing. It's a cover of the Russian version of a song from Brave, "Touch the Sky" ("Птицей стать"). Sorry again ^^

The Scary Lady Syndrome

As a guide, I often show foreigners around Moscow. Along with telling them what they want to know about the city's history (although, to be honest, I soon end up answering questions about Putin, The Pussycat Dolls and the Anti-homosexual law), I listen to them talk about their impressions from my beloved country. And, sadly, the thing that seems to imprint itself in their memories the strongest is Russia's Scary Lady Syndrome.

Let me explain. For some reason, in almost every establishment there is a really scary middle-aged woman running the whole thing. She is mean, she is loud, she is usually ugly, and, if your well-being depends on her in any way, she will own you until you cry. She's a lot like a dementor - sucking all the happiness out of you, making you believe for a moment that you are the dumbest person in the world.

The question is: where do they come from? What I mean is, in the Soviet Union times these women were simply appointed on these positions as most suitable candidates (strictness and a deadly glance were appreciated back than), but by now most employers have realized that it's best to make their customers happy, not miserable, and try to hire adequate, friendly people. Even in governmentally funded institutions, surprisingly enough.

But here comes a shocker: somehow, those pretty young girls that are now hired as secretaries, train attendants, low-level governmental officials turn into scary ladies over time. Time passes, they don't move up the career ladder, or, if they do, that happens with great difficulty, so they want to enjoy what little power over others they have as much as possible, so, eventually, they turn into the monsters we all fear and hate.

And it's really sad, because they are the ones people arriving to Russia have to deal with the most, and the fact that they are what they are ruins the foreigners' impression of our country. To be honest, it ruins my impression of our country. We can't expect anyone to want to travel around Russia while these women are there to spoil the fun. We either have to turn them into some kind of attraction or make their lives a little more tolerable.

Or, 30-50 years from now, we'll end up staring at THIS at every turn.

Lazy Me

Since all of Russia is on holidays until the 9th, but I cannot just leave you with nothing, here's one of my music videos. It's a ballad dedicated to Beren and Luthien, Tolkien's characters. Even if you don't speak Russian, it still sounds great (I hope). So...enjoy and have a happy New Year and a merry Christmas!