Melancholy

So sad…I can’t function properly, can’t even write. I just want to sit here and feel sorry for myself. So much is going on, and I don’t feel like being cheerful. I feel like curling up into a ball and thinking weak, pathetic thoughts, may be crying a little. Most people I know would say that it wasn’t like me to behave like this, but, at the given moment of time, I don’t care.

I’m tired of always being O.K. Always smiling, upbeat, happy even when criticizing something or someone. I can’t do that all the time. No-one can do that all the time, unless they’re robotic or from another planet. But people aren’t used to seeing me when I’m down. And I wouldn’t want to shock anyone, or, even worse, upset anyone.

The reason for all this? I have no idea, what it is. I just want it to stop – because, unlike some writers, I don’t get inspired by depression. It sucks all the creativity out of me, and there’s nothing I can think, talk or write about but my saddness. And that’s just pathetic. So, I’m sorry, everyone. I hope to feel better by next week. But right now…there’s just…melancholy.